life and death

With new life there comes death. Happy times bring sadness. I dont know how to deal with the loss that happened to me personaly 4 years ago today. I lost a son before he had a chance to even begin his life it was over it haunts me to this day what could i have done different if i stopped my meds for parkinsons would that have saved him. Gods plans are greater than mine and i have to have faith and believe in what he has in store for me . I was only 20 weeks pregnant but was told it was a boy and i named him Samuel Richard, a few days later i lost him. i have not gotten over this and pray it gets easier to deal with but he will always be a part of my and a piece of me is missing. i never got to hold him never got to say goodbye maybe this is why its so hard.