Sinking

I feel like no matter what i do, i am doing it wrong. there is now right way for me anymore. the depression is getting worse all i do is stay at home and sometimes make bows or my polymer clay things. but lets be honest neither of them are very good. i feel like ppl tell me they are good not to hurt my feelings, i would much rather know the truth than to feel like someone is having pity on me. when i need to talk to someone it seems they are never there, i tried calling both my sisters tonight and neither answered. but that's normal they never answer when i call and never return the call. sometimes u just need to hear someones voice and hear that they care ( and trust me you can tell if they care or if they are just humoring you ) i miss the parkie chat room at least there i knew that someone knew what i was dealing with and could relate. I'm drowning in my own tears and i cant seem to come up for air. i can feel the real me slipping away even though i am here and alive. the rudeness and disrespect and ppls stupidity is driving me insane and I'm losing my true self trying to stay afloat i know this sounds stupid and i know I'm the only one who reads i hope i can read back on this and laugh someday